TALES: Cheap entertainment

It was the first completely sunny day for a about a week, so Chris and I hit Chibana, Spiders & Pipes and Mad Hatter today after work. Nice ride, and we even stumbled upon a farmer who was hand-making straw tatami mats about midway through S&P.

Started out a little rough though. We had a little Okinawan man inspecting our bikes as we got ready to ride. He was very friendly and very curious, especially about my Prophet's Lefty fork.

There's a low-hanging chain that crosses Chibana's starting point so, of course, it's tradition to start the ride with a little bunny hop over it -- over being the operative term. My back wheel didn't quite clear the chain, and the wheel somehow hit me in the back of the head -- driving my face into the dirt. This, apparently, was the funniest thing our little friend had seen all week.

Still don't know why we was just sitting on a bucket by his truck alongside the road; perhaps, he was just waiting for something interesting to happen. I'm glad he wasn't disappointed if that was case.

TALES: On top of the world

Great ride this weekend with Lance, Garry, Clint and Chris (making his debut after returning from Iraq). It was a little wet so we hit Spider's outer loop, which tends to be a little less slick than the inner portion. Luckily, the rain hit just as we finished the ride.

On top of the world is the best way to describe the view from atop La Luge. The view is even more breath-TAKING after climbing the 150-plus steps to the top with your bike on your back!

I'd been taking a shortcut that dumps onto the trail since November 2003, so I'd forgotten the view -- and the great drop onto the trail from the top. Unfortunately, it's still a bit wet to negotiate the steep, rutted, slick descent (imagine five guys, bikes sideways, each with one foot clipped in and the other extended as an outrigger fighting gravity's pull down the hill).

I won't embarrass the other riders, but I set a personal best of six endos in one ride!

Can't wait 'till this portion dries out. In the meantime, it's always worth a little pain to experience the beauty of Okinawa from a bird's perspective!

TALES: He's walking again!

Went for a short but terrific out-and-back on the Eastern trails this evening (Chibana, Spiders & Pipes & my first run of the Mad Hatter). These trails are really shaping up nicely -- we just need to get more riders on them. Oddly enough, Tom and I bumped into each other in woods as he was out for a stroll, and I was on the downside of my ride. It was great seeing him with the cast finally off and walking around (him walking, not the cast). Looks like Tom will be able to ride trails again around May.

Looking forward to the weekly ride at Spider Loop tomorrow, especially after working through last week's. Looks like I'll join Lance, Garry, Clint and Chris (newly returned from Iraq). This week's goal: keep my knees and face off of the ground while descending "The Mother ..."

TALES: A pile of pleasure

There’s something about a dirt pile that makes a kid with a bike smile from ear to ear. It represents infinite possibilities, trails, jumps, twists and turns – just waiting to be molded into a new adventure. So, you can imagine what happens when the kid gets bigger, and the dirt pile’s about seven stories high!

I’d been eyeing a new construction site on the Camp Foster Marine Corps base for a few days, and was finally able to put knobblies to it yesterday at lunch: tiered, nearly-vertical grades, very soft dirt and large, sharp rocks. Did I mention that it was about seven stories high?

Luckily, the Okinawan workers shut down all of the heavy equipment for lunch at the site like clockwork. In fact, the one in the backhoe parked atop the hill merely waved back at me before falling asleep in the cab.

The site was great for practicing making the bike “light” over soft dirt while keeping the front wheel from sinking with full shock compression each time a tier leveled off. After four intense runs that really tested my mediocre bike handling skills, I gave it a final shot just to get a few pictures. Got a little too cocky in the process, and the resulting endo (feet still clipped in the whole way) spanned an entire tier before abruptly ending in a sandwich (me crammed between two huge rocks and the bike). The result: one big smile and skid marks on all major extremities – front and back!

Just like a kid, I walked into the locker room after lunch, covered in a strange combination of dust, mud and blood, trying to hide the satisfaction on my face and ignore the confused looks from the runners.

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TOBACCO FREE DAYS: 9
ZYBAN-LINKED PSYCHOTIC EPISODES: 5
CINNABONS: 1

TIPS: Spinnin’ & grinnin’

I’ve been attending a “spinning” class occasionally, mainly out of desperation to pedal anything while rain continues to make a giant mud bog out of Okinawa trails. After two classes, I hated it. The workout was nominal, and I felt myself being sucked into “yuppie spin groupie” world. Let’s face it; spinning is the new step aerobics, so it won’t be long before we’ve all got cool bandanas and leg warmers on, headed to the gym in bike short and SPDs!

Rambling … sorry. I'm still ticked that my planned trip to desecrate a construction site washed out today!

Despite my subtle feelings on spinning, my attitude was changed yesterday by a motivated, grungy instructor and the fact that I finally figuring out how to work the bike tension. I’m now convinced that a Schwinn spinner in the right hands can actually be a wonderfully-torturous device for MTBers – allowing both sprint and endurance work at will. I was actually most amused my the rivers of sweat pooling on the floor from my head and arms over the hour-long class.

I’m now sold on three times a week (at least as long as the rain keeps up). What color of leg warmers goes best with a black and red spinner?

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TOBACCO FREE DAYS: 7
ZYBAN-LINKED PSYCHOTIC EPISODES: 5

TRIPS: "Hatter" is open, and I'm going mad

The resurrection of the "Mad Hatter" is nearly complete with only about 50 meters of overgrowth standing in the way of a clean run (you could likely push through though). Cleared and marked most of it Saturday in the rain and was impressed by the "trident" split about midway that gives you three very different terrain choices (doubletrack uphill or downhill woop-de-doos, or a woodsy singletrack path) that converge just before the exit.

Felt like an archeologist discovering ancient ruins when I ran across an old sign for the trail -- especially after tangling with the first mature Banana Spider I've seen this year. This is a great follow up to Spiders & Pipes!

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Day 6 tobacco free & have not yet ridden. Fortunately, the Zyban has only caused sleeplessness, abnormal dreams, anxiety, constipation, disturbed concentration, dizziness, nervousness, abnormal thinking, dry skin, loss of appetite, muscle pain, neck pain, shakiness, and a throbbing heartbeat.

TALES: A good idea at the time

I’m driving into work this morning, soaking up the suck from working on my weekly ride day (of course it’s gorgeous today, and it rained Saturday), and a fleeting conversation I had Saturday is haunting me.

It was a conversation that now put my mind back 20-plus years. It put my body back on a used 20” Royce Union 10-speed, legs pumping and fresh air filling my burning lungs someplace between the high mountains of my starting point near Santa Ysabel and my high desert destination of Ocotillo Wells, Calif. I would eventually learn to drive over the dunes in Ocotillo Wells but, for now, I kept my tennis shoes crammed into the toe clips of the yellow piece of Japanese steel between my legs, hoping to space out over the desert and forget the pain in my thighs.

In all honesty, I can’t remember how far I made it past the 20-mile mark. I know we passed Lake Henshaw and the Palomar Observatory, and I know the trees had all but been replaced by cactus and shrubbery.

What I can remember is why I rode, despite rarely ever mounting a road bike: My uncle said, “Why don’t you ride your bike, and we’ll drive behind you?” and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Last night’s conversation was with a roadie who wanted to start mountain biking. I wanted to tell him that he’d finally start enjoying the ride, but I couldn’t. This is what haunts me!

I can’t name one good reason to step on a road bike other than“it may seem like a good idea at the time.” Yet, I still remember the freedom and peace of what is my longest road trek to date. There must be something good hidden in there somewhere.

Still, it is a pleasure “corrupting” roadies by getting them in the dirt – something that always seems like a good idea.

TALES: Counting flowers on the wall ...

For the 27th time, I'm a quitter. I'm three sleepless days into a Zyban-induced, anti-depressant coma as the final grams of nicotine seep from my pores; a cool visualization to occupy my sleep- and drug-deprived mind for hours. There's no doubt that I'm a complete space case, but there's an unusual feeling of finality in the air this time. I think chewing tobacco will join the demons of the past that only beckon from a distance now.

My daughter told me she'd get an "A" in geometry if I quit using tobacco (not a huge stretch for a girl with a 3.6 GPA), but a challenge to the solid "B" she's had in the class.

The weather’s kept me off the bike since quitting, so I'm anxious to see how the stamina’s affected. The sudden increase in both Guacamole and Black Pepper Jack Doritos definitely won't help!

TALES: True satisfaction & bad golf

PROLOGUE
If you scream as the water hits your legs in the shower, then you know it’s been a good run. Better yet is the next day, after wearing boot socks for 12 hours, when chunks of dried blood and other “stuff” come off your leg with the socks. What exactly is that strange sense of satisfaction and pride that completely overwhelms the pain when you kiss sweet Mother Earth? Maybe it’s that two seconds of airtime before impact, when you're truly free; or maybe it’s looking up from the carnage to see all of your friends stifling their laughter (if you're lucky) until they at least see you moving.

Keep in mind, though, that crotching the top bar and/or headset on your way over does not bring the same sense of satisfaction – not even on subsequent occurrences.

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THE RIDE
Great ride Sunday after (believe it or not) four dry days in a row, and a couple of new riders made it even better. It's always a pleasure getting riders on our trails who are new to the sport or just new to the area. Clint and Garron joined Lance I for the weekend ride, so we decided to illustrate exactly what NOT to do when hauling the mail downhill.

I think the ride was more of a warm up for Clint, typically a triathlete, who didn’t learn much technique from my endo down The Mother. However, he did learn a bit about proper technique during his freefall off the rope climb at the bottom.

Garron did remarkably well unclipped on a borrowed hardtail with the one-sided, plastic Shimano platforms snapped onto SPDs – can’t imagine how difficult it was just keeping his feet on the pedals. Apparently, riding interfered with Garron’s steady hands on the golf course the same afternoon, so now his competition is begging to get him back on the trail regularly before he hits the green. He said his butt hurt this morning, but none of us are talking!

I’m definitely reconsidering the knee and shin protection for future rides. From the divots under both of Lance’s knees, I’d imagine he’s also entertaining the thought. I guess if that happens, we’ll actually have to stay on the bikes to have fun!

A few hours after we wrapped it up, a flash storm kicked the wind instantly from 0 to 30 mph and threw in some driving rain. It kicked us off a nearby beach, but it was a great excuse to warm up with a huge bowl of Soba soup -- timing is everything!

TALES: The spiders are nothin'!

Found and marked the entrance to "Mad Hatter" today, but came face-to-face with a harsh reality of summer -- snake traps were all over in the woods. Wonderful signs with giant, smiling snakes were also up near the woods' edges by Kurashiki Dam to warn passers-by of Okinawa's infamous Habu.

I've crashed through many woods here on many different occasions, and I've never seen a snake. However, that does nothing to make me any less tense even sitting here thinking about the little farts. Where are all of the mongooses -- or "mongeese"? -- when you need them anyway? (The mongoose was reportedly introduced to Okinawa from India at the turn of the century to fight Habu, whose bites caused serious injuries to local farmers.)

Just one more reason to ride fast!

TALES: It’s healthy to carry your bike occasionally … right?

Finished clearing the last bamboo on Spiders & Pipes Saturday, so it's finally completely rideable again, the way Tom intended. Also let loose with some metallic gold spray paint (hope the nearby farmers don't mind the gold spider icons directing traffic). I'm hoping this moderate-skill trail will encourage more families to start riding; it also gives us night-riding virgins a safer place to learn the nocturnal arts. Best of all, I got another cool rash from clearing the trail – three circles on the back of my neck that my wife describes as “crop circles.”

Sunday was even better as Lance, Clayton, Garry and I tackled Spider Loop's inner loop. Chris the photographer and "Amazon Guide Wonder Boy" even joined us. The uphill switchbacks on “The High Road” left me gasping like the first time I rode them, but weaving down through the tight trees and over the rooted, twisting path of “Heartbreak” before hitting "The Mother of All Downhills" reminded me exactly how much the rush is worth the climb 10 times over!

I can only imagine how fulfilling the last half mile would have been with the bike carrying me instead of me carrying the bike. This was my first personal encounter with the joys of chain suck to the max -- and I must say that I did a fine job of wedging the chain under the spoke ends. I have to admit, life would’ve been easier had I noticed the loose rear derailleur cable after I fixed the chain the first time. Lesson: never be so hurried to get back on the bike that you only check the symptom, not the cause. A special thanks to Garry for keeping me company on the walk!

I almost forgot: the spiders are on steroids and have miraculously grown to half their mature sizes over the course of the past two weeks. We’re definitely in for a treat early this year!

TALES & TRIPS: Good questions!

"Is the rash still there?"
Thanks for all of the cards and letters. The rash from my last ride is beginning to fade (along with my short term memory), and my wife gave me a little more sympathy after reading the blog, so life is good.

"So, how do I get to the Chibana trails?"
Admittedly, the map is taxing my computer skills, but progress is being made to build a detailed map of the eastern routes. Thanks to "anonymous" for pointing out that I neglected to provide any clue whatsoever. I've tried for a short-term solution with written directions in response to his (or her) question, so check them out in the comments on "A Prodigal Returns ..."